* Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
* His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* Works well when under constant supervision.
* This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
* Sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
* This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* Has a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
* A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
* He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.
* He has knack for making strangers immediately.
* When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
* If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.
* A photographic memory, but with the cap over the lens.
* Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
* If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
* If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
* One neuron short of a synapse.
* Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
* Takes him 1-1/2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
* She’s so dense that light bends around her.
* Left on the tilt-a-wheel too long as a baby.